Sunday, July 30, 2017

Falling out of love

Falling out of love is difficult.
Falling out of love is real.
It happened.

Suddenly everything doesn't makes sense. Nothing will fancy you anymore.
Everything hurts. Nothing seems to feel right anymore.

You don't need him anymore. He is no longer your muse. He's rather annoying than lovely. His presence doesn't excites you anymore.

You wanted to be alone. You wanted to be with yourself more than with him. You just want to be you. You just need yourself.

No, it's not because other person. You simply tired of being attached. You don't want to be attached to anyone. It is about you. Yourself. Being on your own. Just you.

You hope he will understand. He will let you go but it is not easy.

Now you confused if you love him or just familiar with his existance. Is it still love? Or just pity cause you scared to tell him the truth?

Chances after chances. You give yourself time. Time after time. Nothing seems to change.

You had fall out of love.

There isn't love anymore.

Love is gone.

No more love.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

I need alone time.

I think the bad thing about having a boyfriend is you can't do random unplanned things, because then he will accused you of spending time with someone else,when all you want is to be with yourself.

You can't have the bed all to yourself, because he will be lying next to you, holding your hand. While it is good at times, I need some space.

You can't enjoy single life. Not talking about going out with different guys,I seriously pass that phase. At this moment, all I want is me and myself.  Me cherish-ing my own self cause I'm getting older and I realized when I get older, I can't enjoy my 20s. 20s is seriously golden. Now I realized, I stuck with a man who go head to toe on what I'm doing, nagging and jugding on the things I did. It's annoying af. In this age I just wanna love myself. Seriously. This is something I cant get when I'm 30 or married. Just let me be with myself bruhh.

The point here is,  I need myself back. I'm not going to let you take over my life. You've been great. You've all that I wanted after all the heartaches you gave me. All the pain and the cries I had at nights. But I'm just so allergic at nagger, and you are a nagger. How do I live with that for the rest of my life? Tell me.

As much as you want me to be like your mom. Thats how you can never ever be like my father. None of us are how we want it to be. We failed hard.

You told me, I'm not your type. I kept telling myself, I'm not your type. Somehow we cross in the middle, I don't know why. It's ridiculous.

I'm going A. It hurts me very much. I thought I have given my best but it's never enough in fact it's awful.

I used to love you, so much.