Saturday, July 8, 2017

I need alone time.

I think the bad thing about having a boyfriend is you can't do random unplanned things, because then he will accused you of spending time with someone else,when all you want is to be with yourself.

You can't have the bed all to yourself, because he will be lying next to you, holding your hand. While it is good at times, I need some space.

You can't enjoy single life. Not talking about going out with different guys,I seriously pass that phase. At this moment, all I want is me and myself.  Me cherish-ing my own self cause I'm getting older and I realized when I get older, I can't enjoy my 20s. 20s is seriously golden. Now I realized, I stuck with a man who go head to toe on what I'm doing, nagging and jugding on the things I did. It's annoying af. In this age I just wanna love myself. Seriously. This is something I cant get when I'm 30 or married. Just let me be with myself bruhh.

The point here is,  I need myself back. I'm not going to let you take over my life. You've been great. You've all that I wanted after all the heartaches you gave me. All the pain and the cries I had at nights. But I'm just so allergic at nagger, and you are a nagger. How do I live with that for the rest of my life? Tell me.

As much as you want me to be like your mom. Thats how you can never ever be like my father. None of us are how we want it to be. We failed hard.

You told me, I'm not your type. I kept telling myself, I'm not your type. Somehow we cross in the middle, I don't know why. It's ridiculous.

I'm going A. It hurts me very much. I thought I have given my best but it's never enough in fact it's awful.

I used to love you, so much.