Monday, May 16, 2016

To the boy that I hurt . . .

Often, i talk about how a guy hurt my feelings and i got so frustrated. Today let me write an open letter to the this boy i used to care but ended up hurting his feeling cause i'm so used being hurt and i hurt him before he did. Well, he might hurt me too or he might not hurt me at all. I don't know. But things happened. I made him wait long enough he gave up, gave me chance again, but at the end We both gave up.

When you decided someone no longer your muse, You let go of them completely. Long/short memories of you and that person will linger around your head/minds/heart/souls the first few days but trust me, as time goes by you will let go. How you going to make it work? You start to let go of the memories now. It will be hurt first but it will make sense sooner or later. It happen for a reason we don't know now, but will know later on. Unconsciously, you will be glad it actually happened, at a point of a time. At times, maybe you will still questions yourself, are they thinking  the same way you think? Are they hurt they way you hurt?Or at least a little bit of pain or regret of this unsuccessful thing? Sometimes, what you wish for is not what meant to be. It is hurt but what can we do? Love or whatever you call it, it's not something you can force. When it no longer a thing, it's pretty much pathetic. You just have to move on. There's no point holding onto something broken.

Dear you,
Sorry things doesn't work out between us. Either it's your problem or my problem, it's a good memories indeed. It's something we both can keep deep down in the memory box. Thank you for being patience enough with my terrible decision making, all the time I wasted when you put me first in everything you did. All the time you made yourself free to spend time with me but i'm somewhere out there doing things for my selfish self. All in all thanks for being selfless with me and your uncountable patience and forgives when my sorry no longer has meaning. Thank you for still being my friend after all the pains i given to you. I hope someday someone will appreciate you the way you are supposed to be appreciated, taken care of and loved. I know you will.

. . . 

Forgetting Shaun.

I believe you will be good. Since first it started it might look like not a serious kind of relationship. I don't know how would you address it. I think it's too late for me to regret now about what happened between us. You will be fine. The way you handle it, very harsh on me, maybe you just trying to be strong. You are never sad, never frustrated I supposed. I know you are trying, I tried too but I guess I tried when its too late.

He will be good to me. She will be good to you. You have everybody around you too, you know they will always have your back. All this time, they always had your back. Listen to them, that's what you always did anyway.

Maybe one day, when you have everything in place, when you finally enter the world I'm standing now, you will understand why am I like this, like that. It's not always fun as you might thought. It's not always how you want it to be. Sorry I neglected you, Sorry I'm too selfish, Sorry It's all about me, Sorry It's never about you, I'm Sorry we failed.

Good Bye Shaun.

Sometimes we get lonely even when we are not alone. Surrounded by tons of people or the one we love. However, it doesn't really mean you are not lonely. Feeling neglected, like they are on their world and you are somewhere in between.

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