Friday, July 17, 2015

// Emotional Breakdown //


No, I cannot be as you wish. No, I am not one of those girl that you and maybe guys out there ever wish to have, not even appear in anybody perfect girl lists. No, I am not the girl that everyone talks about, you may spill out my name to anyone and no one will ever have the idea who i am. No, i am not your dream girl, I don't have what you wish I have. Myself my body isn't perfect, there is too much imperfection that i myself couldn't figure out. Yes i can do something about it and yet i didn't do anything about it. No, i don't have money as much. No, i don't have friend that i could hang out with. No, i don't hang out as much as you or maybe as much you want me to. No, my life is not as happening as i wish it is. That was it, i have nothing really, nothing hype, nothing fun, nothing interesting, nothing attractive, absolutely nothing. Just to think about it, it disturb me emotionally and mentally. It scary to think that i have nothing to offer, nothing to show. It's pathetic. 


I wish i have so much more. So much to offer, an interesting life, attractive appearance. Something that you can be proud of, perhaps. 


I've tried so hard but I guess, I am just me. This is how i am. I can't never be as perfect as your imagination, as your wish, as your dream, I can't be what I am trying to be, because I am not. This is me.

The imperfect person, the emotionally unstable at times, cause i filled with insecurities telling me that i am not good enough. I can't do nothing about it, i am just like this, this is the real me.