Thursday, September 12, 2013

Rainbow, i'll wait for you :)


I'm doing good, doing better, i guess.
After awhile, it kinda hurts.
Well, it was my decision from the start, i won't regret it.
I know, maybe now or later, they'll come a point that i will regret this.
But i also have a sense that, one day i'm going to thank myself for making this decision.
After all, i have no idea what the future holds for me.
Quite fascinating, isn't it??

It's like today it seems so right but the next day it all goes wrong
Or the other way around.
Anyway, it's my life, i'm the one who decide of what i'm going to do or not to do
It might sound selfish or wicked or whatever mean thing it is, but that's it!

I won't cry for the same thing twice, ok wrong!
I cried for the same thing twice!
Twice are enough! There won't be the third!
People say, it's alright to cry but don't cry for so long, Do Stop!
So my friend told me that i'm strong, she told me i'm strong for not crying!
I know right. hmm Actually . . . .
 I never know i was so strong until being strong is the only choice i had.
I guess that decision i made was one of it.

Apparently. i'm moving on. I moved on!
It's nothing :)
Yes, of course i'm a little sad. i would be lying if i said i don't.
It's just that i'm so good at hiding it. But it's alright.
I chose this way. I know i will be happy.
It just take a little time, only little. :)



Friday, September 6, 2013

That journey I had with you has come to an end.


Before you ask me why i leave, why i given up
First ask yourself why you treat me that way all this time
I know, i know, i know you've tried your best to change yourself for good
but boy, before you tried, i already did
For the past two years, i was so in love with you
i forgot how my life was, what am i.
To me, you've brought me so much happiness, 
despite the mean things you did to me, i was always patient
thinking it's going to be fine, thinking it will be better
Before it was way too late~
 At the same time, you've brought me tears,
from those heartache you gave to the cries i have in my sleep
from the hanging quarrel to the night you ignore me
I was always there, stand right behind you,
to catch you when you fall, to be your company when you in need
to be the shoulder you cried on, to be your wings when you fall
There's time when you gave up, i was always there to remind you
that life was full of challenge, that life was made of obstacles
I always tell you that; "Tomorrow is a new day!
Whatever happen now, today, will past as tomorrow appears"
I have no idea if you actually get or listen to me
All i know, this simple word brings lots meaning to myself
i'm telling it to you with hope you'll get the meaning as well.

You told me that, i've changed you. The way you look at life
That i changed you to be more mature, to be better in life.
Well, i'm happy to hear that. 
However, why why why you still treat me in way that made me curious
curious about us, made me full of anxiety
And if you're mature enough as you said why do you act like a child
Boy, your mature image doesn't define your mature character
I don't need you to change yourself for me, cause the relationship itself will change you.
Why? cause when you change for me, there'll come a time when
you are tired of becoming something not you and that's when you get bored
Still, I'm glad to know that i bring changes in your life,
making you mature than before (as you said), to be the bright side of your life,
to be the girl that always standing behind your success, 
I'm happy to be a part of it.

These two years, i've cried and laughed a lot with you.
You're once just a stranger, came to my life, be a part of it.
Was once my other half, was once the one that i love so much
That i will give up anything just to be with you.
Was once the reason to my tears and smiles.
The one i share my dreams with, the one i will run to when there's anything.
Now it changed. Everything changed.
I know, this person who always give you her support was finally moving on.
I given up cause i found out, there's no more i can hold.
As water flows, as wind blows, as time passes
Our relationship going downhill, 
I've tried and tried and doing my best to keep it strong
But all i can see, me alone, trying to save it
i don't see you doing the same, we were totally apart
I finally realized, that things wasn't the same any more
There was a gap between you and me
no matter how hard we try to fix it, it was already way too far
Therefore, i chose to give it up.
To let go all the dreams, promises, feelings, hopes, wishes i have with you
And you only realized about the gap way too late,
You said you've tried your best, but the thing is you tried when i already given up
It was way too late to realize.

I'm sorry this relationship going nowhere
and if you want to keep in mind that i'm the badass and bitch
Go on. There's nothing i can do to stop you from going around telling others.
You already fuss around about me leaving you, hurting you, to all the people
making me the mean one, the evil one, the one without heart, the one that wicked.
But before that, don't forget to tell them, what you've done to me as well.
Yes i hurt you. Yes i'm leaving you. 
That was because we just can't work it out any more. 
I can't stand watching myself hurting, in pain, all because of these.
I'm worth it. I do have dignity. I want to be happy too.
How do we continue this relationship if we don't have happiness anymore?
If we don't communicate enough? If we don't solve problems?
If we pretending to be in perfect relationship but the fact we are not?

So here it is. It ends. 
That journeys we walked together have end.
It already ends long ago.


Good Bye to you, the one who once hold the key to my heart.
Good Bye ~





"If I'm happy before i meet you, i know that i will still be happy after you're gone"