Sunday, January 30, 2011

Note from the director.

My baby laptop had left me due to its motherboard disease. I'm sad and i rarely online. Therefore, do contact me through my mobile phone, thanks. Other than that, say Good Luck to me for my coming second semester final exam, which will be held after the cny week. Annyong ;)

*No photo for this post cause i'm not using my laptop. Haih, so sad and boring.

Monday, January 24, 2011

What is good for your heart is good for your soul.

See it's another problema de amor. I'm so tired dealing with this kind of thing. You see, i'm a failure on amor. So how do you expect me to deal and help others? Well, i'll help this partner anyway. I know exactly what happened. It's been almost a month they argue and didnt talk to each other. It wasn't a good idea. Both are dumbass. Please, anyone please start talk! If nobody start, and throw their ego, how this fight going to end? Come on, i'm the middle person and i dont wish to interrupt, but hey..i cant bear your arguement man! Yes, you dont fight like the king fighter and you dont scream out loud to each other like cat and dog. It's a silent fight, i wonder if both of you wrestling within your heart huh? Whatever. As i said, i know exactly what happened. I'm the alibi!!Zzz.. I saw and i heard, i'm at the place where all these shit began. Therefore, for the past two weeks, i made on analysis and some thesis (OMG!) on the issue. Therefore, now i came out with my answer and the result. Based on the world problemo de amor de conclusión, Both are wrong! and both are responsible to ask for forgiveness on each other. SO FUCK! WHAT THE HECK YOU BOTH ARE WAITING FOR?? Find a time, damn it! You always had the time, just spend few minutes and ask for forgiveness. SO HARD TO SAY SORRY?? If there's EGO+SHIT=Sure got HECK!!! Come on, your relationship wasn't cincai relationship. It wasn't two three months not even two three years. So why just a simple words mistake can bring you both act like shits? I tired seeing this kind of things. Please man, be the real man. It's your time to take your step. It wasn't wrong if you just approach her and say I'M SORRY, i believe she would reply you the same thing. I guess she's just too tired. Discuss the problem and make it to a conclusion. There's nothing wrong to say sorry and give way. In relationship, there's no such things like, loser and winner. In relationship, you accept on each other, bad and good. Someone need to start. It's time for you man, just say you're sorry and everything will be good. Why the man? Because you had said something you shouldnt say. Just put yourself in her shoes, what would you feel when she said that to you? I bet you going to mad like crazy dumbass lion. Just think back what the both of you had went through for the past few years. What she had sacrifice for you, everything that she had given up just for you. Is this how you treat her,now? after all the things.. There's so many things. Went back to your past, think all those sweet memories and think about now. PLEASE MAN AND WOMAN. Two of you own this relationship. Choice is within the both of you. I'm tired watching shits. Please talk. Face the reality. Both of you are not a high school student whom has a love problem, didn't talk for so long and end up nothing. Both of you are grown up man and woman. Think wisely. Act wisely. Dumbass!!
I'll pray for the happiness.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

te extraño . .

Seriously,i have no idea.
My texting mate or better known as the person i love the most, has no credit for the moment, therefore i consider myself no credit too. I miss him a lot. I want to meet him, like crazy. I want to get/give a hug. I knew he miss me too, yes it is. Maybe i should give him a call.

only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed
I wouldn't be able to breathe again
it's only you my baby it's only you

Why can't I let go of the memories that have already ended
why do I keep holding onto them alone
After letting that person left me, go, I live a new life
Oh~I know it too, that it's the way it should be, I know it too

Though I couldn't bring myself to believe it the first month,
After nothing but crying for the second month
And on the third month, holding onto my whole heart
I tried to meet other people
But I couldn't bring myself to smile

only you, only you can bring me to life
I can't stop these tears
So just come and return to me
only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed
I can't bring myself to smile again
it's only you my baby it's only you

listen, You were really beautiful. When you smiled, I was blinded by the light
To that bright smile, I lost track of all thought
Oh~miss you baby, I really miss you so much

No can understand me, and also as of now
why to this day I still have a deep attachment to you
Oh~though they don't get it, you have known it

only you, only you can bring me to life
I can't stop these tears
So just come and return to me
only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed
I can't bring myself to smile again
it's only you my baby it's only you

Yo, I tried to forget you but,
no matter how hard I tried, I keep finding myself looking for you
And even until now, I keep remembering that bright smile
Isn't it pitiful, how did it come to be this way
I'm unable to quite forget everything altogether
There continues to exist an empty spot that refuses to be filled
It can only be filled by you

only you, only you can bring me to life
I can't stop these tears
So just come and return to me
only you, if it's not you, I can't be fixed
I can't bring myself to smile again
it's only you my baby it's only you yeah~
Are you doing okay? I'm not doing well, I need you.

Two days ago, i wanted to write so many things. About activities happened around and some thought about me, others and whatever. But as i kept postpone and delayed, now i had forgotten everything. Maybe i should just do a little picture spam again?LOL. I'm a bad blog owner, i quite dislike sharing picture. All pictures ended bangas in my folders,LMAO! I miss doing photoshoot and runway, waiting for upcoming event.

February coming in just few days. fast times flies.. I will end my second semester of foundation right after my final exam, after the cny. Oh great, i need to start studying all the fucking subjects. I'm getting used to my college, after five months plus studying, although it feels damn bored and fucking shits. Well i never feel awesome about my study place either, finger crossed. I should just thankful. There's so many reason i should grateful. God bless.

So . . . what else ?

Picca picca..Sé que te gusta..

There's nothing better than this.

Spending crazy night with lovely sister.

Being just another woman.

Eating apples.

New addiction.



Walking the life.

Too obvious..

Muchas gracias, a todos mis jóvenes quienes me eligen como su ídolo. Voy a intentar mi mejor esfuerzo para dar lo mejor. Gracias de nuevo.

Therefore, i ended my fucking shits.

좋은 하루 되세요~

Loving someone requires a leap of faith.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I've slept few hours ago and now i'm here. wtf! I slept for few minutes/half an hour and i awake now. I can't sleep back. I have too much in my mind. Sign in my facebook and randomly checked on my friend list plus friend of friend list. Suddenly,i found not-so-long ago story of you. Get what i mean? I felt jealousy. I regret that i have to found what i shouldn't. It will makes me more harder to sleep back. I regret that, now i have loads in my mind again. I don't know and i don't know. But past is past. I accept you for who you are,now while with me. And that's how you accept me too. That's what everybody does too, forget the past and accept the person we love for who they are now. Let's call it respect,for the mean time. Finish with our history.

I have a weird dream ever,last night. I wondered,why do i need to have such thing in my sleep thought? OR am i getting weird each day? Well i mean, i have too much in mind during day and during night(in a dream) too? What happen? At least,let me have a good,happy,wonderful,awesome thought at night. I can't bear a life full of lame idea in my head. I don't wish to be a lame either. Pray for me. God bless me.

I had my headache, i can't stand hot days and annoying people. Please bear with this anger that i throw all around. Don't talk to me, when i don't feel like talking. I dislike spam. I wish account don't exist. More accurate, calculations. I'm too stupid with numbers,grrr. I wish i was a little smarter.

난 이런 삶을 지겨워 . . 내가 행복한 가정을 그리워, 내 가족
내 부모가 각각의 며칠 동안의 다른 얘기 한게 아냐
난 너무 슬퍼입니다. 나는 그들이 정상으로 돌아올 수 있었으면 좋겠어
내 남자, 제발 내 옆에 . . 내가 당신에게서 안아 줄까
내게 키스를하시기 바랍니다 . .그것은 단지 꿈일 뿐이야 모든 게 잘 될거야 말해봐

내가 원하는 건 . .
내 행복 가족과 함께 행복한 삶을, 그리고 사랑스러운 남자 친구를 원하는

하나님, 내가 사람 나와 함께 행복한 인생을 사랑하게 해주세요.

KWL, Do you know,what fit us perfectly?
Define the dialogue, which one is yours and mine.

Stop being out so late
Try not to drink so often
You don't listen to me like a 10 year old child

I can only laugh
Who are you calling a child?
Really, I can only laugh

You don't know how it feels for me to say these things
You don't know that I only want to say nice things to you
Should I stop? Let's stop

From one to ten, they're all words for you
But since you don't listen to me, it's only nagging to you
Let's stop, let's stop
There's not even enough time to just love

A story told by the heart, not the mind
Stories that I can't help but tell you even if you hate them
Let's stop, let's stop
I only hear your nagging

Are you eating at the right time
Are you staying away from girls
I want to be beside you all day
That's how I feel
If I could keep you in my pocket
I'd be really happy

Our story where we can only be two
A story that would make someone laugh if they heard
Should I stop? Let's stop

Even if you glare and try to scare me
Your face is just too cute to me
Are you going to keep this up? (You) I can't hold back anymore
I really might get angry

A story that wouldn't be told if we were to give up love
The sound of my heart that thinks only of you
Even if you're angry, even if you shout
Your nagging is just so sweet to me

A story that can only be told if we love
But since you don't listen to me, it's only nagging to you
Let's stop, let's stop
But trust my feelings


I almost done blogging and nagging. Finally i realize why is it so hard to sleep tonight. It's because i'm counting the to 10 months anniversaries, which happen only in our dream.

To my awesome reader, i'm sorry that i have lost my blogging mojo. Therefore, lets wish i have a greater and better birthday on May =..= Pray!!

I'll be back to sleep. Good dawn.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I am your her.

Make she happy and smile.

1 . Tell her she is beautiful.

2 . Hold her hand whenever you can. she loves that.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . Always tell her shes the only girl you wanna be with.

6 . When she is upset tell her how much she means to you.

7 . Recognize the small things … they mean the most.

8 . Call her baby.

9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

11 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.

13 . Play with her hair.

14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.

15 . Talk to her without having to kiss her.

16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.

17 . Tell her when you miss her.

18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

19 . Open her car door.

20 . If she’s mad at you, kiss her.

21 . Give her piggyback rides.

22 . Randomly tell her when you think she looks her best.

23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn’t any music playing.

27. Don’t EVER ignore her, no matter who is around.

28 . Kiss her in the rain.

29. Tell her EVERYTHING that's going on your in your life. She wants to know.

30 . WHEN you fall in love with her … Tell her

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Action . Words . Silence .

Good morning peeps..
So these few days,i always had dreams in my sleep even during my nap. perhaps i think a lots these few days.
Last night i got out of bound, was damn mad at that faker who keep bothered my life. I'm not sure whether she will stop after this,but i guess she wouldn't, argghh. My emotion state can be rated as ten per ten last night. Throwing my anger all around, and the only person with me that time was *He, and as expected i scolded him. It feels good last night when i can get the words out of my mouth, somehow it's another feeling this morning. Take this as lesson, think before react. I'm not regret neither do i felt guilty. I'm just doing my bussines, so just forgive me when i get over. I've think a lots about this actually,maybe i was too mad last night. Can't help myself.
~My last text message was left, it didn't encounter a reply. Sad.

Night came, let me continue. So last Jan 10 was the fifth months after we had walked away,next Jan 17 would be the tenth months together. I still kept the counting bars with me,somewhere. Whereas, only me can see it and counting. The pain that i hold on my own so let me keep it with me. So that no one knows my exception, expectation and feelings. The history, had left a scar. Sometimes, it's good to know somebody regret. Therefore, he can advice the present or the future. Based on experience, we learnt. Mistakes, taught us. Sometimes i regret, but most of the time,i don't. I'd rather thankful even if it's hurt enough. I'm a dreamer, everybody does. Hopefully, the time that God had given us to be apart was only for the time being,for us to appreciate each other more, to find the things we looking for, to understand the life of two, to stay within each other for afar so that we could create faithfulness,honesty and trust. Amen.

Winter breeze blow my hair, coldness approach my nerve. Snows fall down outside my window. As i watching the tree surrounded by the snow little by little, the more cold it feels. Snow fall slowly, i went downstair,put on my boots and snow cap. I'm ready to make my snowman and an angel on the ground. It's too cold so i get back inside the house, went to the kitchen and took two pieces of ginger bread along with a hot chocolate. Delicioso!! It's perfect. Still, i can't get rid of you. When i had the most perfect time, that's when i miss you the most. Por favor regrese!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Out of all places

Have been miles away from the busy city for a night, sat on the bench, watching the scenery as i was really far away, there's a big ant walking it's path of life up high on the hill, looking for the right path but for the past few minutes, that ant was never really got it's way. I left the ant with it's life. Back to my room and checked on my phone, i took loads of photos. Night came,i slept calmly along with the coldness and the fog, i had nightmares twice, i woke up at the middle of dawn, mashimaro had fall down but i was too lazy to pick it up, went back to sleep, few minutes later i woke again, mashimaro is calling me, maybe i was too sleepy this time, i close my eyes and slept until morning came and greet me with the sunshine, after awake i quickly pick mashimaro up. Remembering the nightmare i had that night, i was still giggling. Back to the busy city, it feels good to be home. The nightmares is still fresh, though i forgot a quarter of it. I don't want to remember nor think about it, my mind would create an imagination, it wasn't a good sign. This morning, awaken by sister's loud voice as she was busy to get to school. I woke up few hours after she went to school. Getting ready for the same routine, for the weekdays. I had loads of works awaiting on a piece of paper. Too lazy to read and leave it behind. Under the shady tree, on the green grass, with a basket of foods, drinks and a book, i sat politely. Read my book until the tenth page, boredom came therefore i stopped. Ate sandwiches and drank milk. I thought about me. How many people would call and text me by not calling my name? Obviously it's a kind of weird, when people will simply call by the 'sweet words' when they are nothing. It was okay for the female friends but not okay for the male friends. Frankly speaking, i'm not used to those words,please call my name. It's getting dark and cloudy, what a wonderful day, neither super hot sun nor super heavy rain. Just a cloudy day followed by the gently breeze. Wish someone could sat next to me and a little talk. Tired of being cheated. Tired of being tired. Post ended.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

As a shattered glass

main picture? it's pointless lol.. that's what happen when maths and account meet with me..i'm just too poor at calculating,never ask me to calculate if there's no calculator,because the answer would be soooo correct (you would never find the answer in any maths book). *mathsadvertisment*

got ppl,really want me to update blog, my blog fan,perhaps ha ha ha.. But i'm being too bongo lately i have no idea and whenever i get the idea to write something,i lost it in a blink. When my internet server was down (the internet need some rest,i guess) for 3 days,i have tons idea in my head,when the internet is back,my head is empty,wtf! Seriously,i've been sooooooooo uninspired after my heart was cracked,i guess it's really damage this time,no workshop can help me anymore. And i guess a karma is now playing. Maybe not for me, but for other ppl.

I started my class again on Jan3 and i was so lazy to wake up before i really want to awake, it's my most difficult day of all, Waking up reluctantly!! I need my alarm to ring an hour earlier with the help of my mom morning speech half an hour earlier. Gosh!! It's stupid. Okayy back to college life, i get my first semester result and hell yeah,i'm doing good on it hopefully i can do better on my second semester. (forget cheating! it's a shortcut when fate is on our side)

Of my previous post,when i complaint myself about what i really want, about how i want to deal with my wants and needs,about how confuse am i with everything happened and soon to be happen....Until now i was still feeling the same..nothing changed infact it's getting more worse and complicated. I think i've become more and more confused. Ask me,what about? I couldnt answer too cause i dont know about it either. *Anyway, thanks to those who cares ;)

Arghhh...what happen to the place where i stay now,my coverage? no 3g? no network? i live in the middle of the city not in the middle of the jungle!! what is happening?? =.=''' sad lar..

Guess what.. three days away from internet and i back online,just to realize, fakers are more than i ever thought and stupid ppl is become more stupid. I totally mad at first,why ppl whom calling themselves intelligent is actually more idiot than me, can't even differentiate original and fake. Totally palui!! cangu!! and to any faker,especially to that faker that i knew, Please away from my life and away from the ppl around me,dont wait until i come to you and kick your tontonn ah..i really hate you oh!!! if only i see your face and you act nothing, hmmp, i might look kind and innocent but dont know what will happen lar when we meet..please dont show up in front me, i'm not stupid as others. This time i dont care anymore,whether you're younger or older. You wait and see. And i never sorry.

Little picture spam~~

>> i miss this little boy T__T

and anonymous LOL..that's my little sister..

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Come to me,and ask me..
It feels like running into you when i get closer i would slap you left and right cheek. It is enough. I'll look your face closer and say,it's been a long time my dear..did you miss me? I would hug you tighly until you hard to breath,i would kiss you lotss. Hold your hand tighly and walk. I wanted to hug you. I want hugssss!! I miss your warm hand around me,makes me feel secure and smile a little. Lean my head on your chest and dry my tears on your shirts. I know you would play with my hair and kiss my forehead follow by your sweet words. What else?? I miss you so muuuuuch. When can we meet again? I really want to meet you :'(

Sunday, January 2, 2011

First post in new year

finally the year is here..
i'm going nineteen this year ^o^
should i happy or not with that age??
i'm feeling good though~~ havent come yet =.='''
5 more months okay!!
it's just January 2 new year is just the same..
no changes..

A day before new year,my friend texted me,asking abt homework while i'm busy-ing with my facebook,twitter,tumblr,blogger. She awaken me and i'm stuck in front of my laptop. I'm talking to myself; what? i got homework? management assignment? maths work? economic work? okay wonderful new year eve!! However,i didn't do my work that night,instead i'm going out killing people, knocking head and kicking ass. That's just it is,my mood so awful that night. Guess what? I'm crying myself (not because of the homework,of course) but something hurts and i lost my feeling,no feeling and Zzz i ended cry. Crying so badly and hard to stop. Perhaps,i'm too sad to leave 2010?? Dont think so,that year wasn't good year,i'm surely happy to leave it. I have no hope for this new year. Really? Maybe i wanted to leave all my sadness behind and having a new life? How many time i have said this, every year i guess but seems nothing happened. Well, whatever,therefore i choose not to have any proper wish/hope for new year. Pointless for me. It's just another words/aim that i can't fulfill cause i'm too busy/Lazy. So leave it zero.
Someone is sick so badly, hopefully can cook soup and accompany that person. Get well soon. I really dont want this person to get sick but i think,this day he deserves to get sick. He's just too bongo. That's his payment for his blast party. I'm not being cruel nor mean. I just think it's fair. Besides,it's his own fault. He knows he's sick and he drink what he can't drink. Well said.
I've done my assignment by now. I took half night and half dawn to finish it. Printing will be soon. However i'm too lazy with maths and economic essays. Class will be start tomorrow,ugh how i wish i don't need to go to class again. Going to awake early and listen to lecturer going home with tons of homework and deal with other college activities. Tired and no income. I just dislikes. Please,please,please God, please make my other six months foundation studying and other 3 years degree studying fast and easy. May i get job easily and work happily after that,perhaps. Not-long-way to go. It will come so soon.Wasn't it?
Mother nature should be happy with me now,i'm quite a good person now Zzz.. Well,i no longer wasted water,like i used to do. I reduce the usage of plastic,glass and paper now. Little bravo! I need to do more. Cause i can't help those who simply throw rubbish where ever they are, and those who spit/throw chewing gum randomly, so OMG! real pissed off. Please behave yourself people. this an environment campaign by me?? LOL..
I'm going/dreaming to Quicksilver/Roxy. Goodbye~

I'm feeling unfair-ing happened around me

Lost . Lost .

This is just another, FAILED post.