Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Some say yes some say no

some say yes,some say no..
what's with that??
it comes spontaneously when i open posting tab
but i believe, deep inside me, i knew what was it mean to me

what's today post?? huhh..
my blog isn't entertainment blog..
i wrote what i felt, what's happening
basically, a slightly diary of mine
so don't blame me if the post was
damn toooo cheesy, toooo pathetic, toooo idiotic, tooo physcotic and whatever it is
this is my blog and i responsible on what i say/type
if it's hurtful then i'm sorry, if it's funny then laugh
say whatever,leave your comment at comment box or chat box
whatever your response, i'm okay yoo~~
you want to be invisible reader?? sure you can..no problem!
about my language?? nehh..ignore them!!
i knew some/all are failed but that's just the way it is..
but of course, i'm doing better in my language study ;)

pheww..i'm getting out of topic =....=
this is not the purposes i'm started today's post
but nevermind..it's useful though ^^



last night was not a good night
i've been struggle with a lame thought
which actually a mind game
however,it's strong enough to kill and makes me weak
it had struck my heart deeply, felt been pierced
so i get a rest, and i look up at the skies
what i see is dark skies, i can't differentiate what i saw
i'm not even know if there is stars or not
i lost in my thought, i get in and try to get some sleep
lying for so long and i realized, i have a lots in my mind
which comes first and which was in the last? i have no idea..
that night was so different, i've been there before,
was it really can't go away? or was it me who don't want it to go away?
been flooded by lots of things, i knew you filled most of it, more accurate,half of it
have you get rid of me,perfectly?? did i bother you all this while??
went to my past..i found history..
i actually longing my history which i want to repeat and pause, let it stay still.
i've been complaining a lot, i felt changes surround me..what is changing?
more and more sorrow, days passed, undergoes thousand challenges, and here i am
sometimes, i found myself mourning, yet i fake those with a joy on my face
have you ever heard a phrase, the happiest is actually the saddest??
look inside and outside, look all around, and you wouldn't find the answer
until you meet the right answer, it might look easy, however it was the hardest
if you find me just to offend, then it's better to hurt me by ignoring
find me with joy,even if it's fake,but at the very least,
i can put my smile for a moment..even if it's pain later, but i have the joy earlier
i once found a happiness, at the middle of the path it has been stolen
i fight to get back what i have owned, i lost, it had gone with the thief
maybe i was regretting myself for not able to take care of my happiness,
maybe i was mad at the thief whom stole my happiness,
or maybe it's not been stolen, my happiness was ran away with the thief..
i guess,it's me who do not want to face the truth, too scared, so i lied to myself
and away from the crowd, lost in my own world and become pathetic fellow
i used to be up in the skies, flying so glad and proudly
but now, i'm down to the ground, watching the skies and see nothing
one day, i'll be on the skies again, get down, up again, and finally down.
that's just how it goes..
the next day, i awaken by a nightmare
which i don't wish to happen, whether now or later.
pray and let it go far away
God willing, God bless.

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