Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A sadness i can't hold


What is happening??

YES!! I admit this..one thing for sure..

I AM SAD, I AM NOT HAPPY

I've hold this tears and pain inside,i promise not to cry again
But why are you always find a chance to make me cry??
You don't want me to cry and so do i..You think i like to cry??
I've hold this tears for a couple months,and easily you make it flow again
Do you know how hard was it for me to hold it? Even a little of it??
Do you know how i care for you feeling and listen to all your advices??
I ignore myself, my own feeling, my own needs just to make you happy..
Without any questions, without any anger, i listen to your words..
It never become a burden to me, as long as you satisfied and happy
Until now, i kept every each of it.
In you eyes,i might look never listen to you, but did you ever ask me??
Did you ever ask,how i listen to your words?? Why are you see things in the easiest way??
You see the person you love in the brightest way AND see me in the most pathetic way
You are so unfair!!!!! Just once, please open your mind and your eyes..
To compare your feeling for her and me,of course i had ZERO..and she had THOUSAND
But for once and keep it forever in your heart..
This person who had zero of your love, is the most care for you
Even i've already lost, i was still standing here.
Even i've been hurt for millions i never hates
Even i've cry and sick a lots, i still love.
Even if you can't love back or give even a little piece of your love
Can't you just appreciate??
What actually have i done to you until you hurt me like this???
You can still love someone who have dump you BUT hate someone who loves you
I want to hate you, like you wish but i can't do it..
I face the truth sadly, that i have already lost you..I didn't bother you..
I miss you, i wanted to text you everyday, wanted to call you, meet you
I ended up my wish doing nothing. Just in case you need time.
Do you now how hurt was that?? How it makes me so weak??
You'll say,i ever felt the same pain before..PLEASE, don't compare yours and mine..
You mad at me because i be friend with them??
So what if i ask you to stop be friend with that woman you love?????
If you felt fuck up with them, then do you know how fuck up i felt towards her???
You think i don't know her? i knew her!!! AND i felt so idiot..
I don't have any special relationship not even a special feeling for them
If YOU versus THEM, you sure win.
However, ME versus HER??
200% sure,confirm i will lost.. So what else??
It's been a long time, i'm not in touch with them..
I don't know what's going on with them, and you suddenly brought a story..
Yes,i am angry now but still i don't hate you.
You scolded me for no reason!! Please don't repeat the same thing.
If last night was your last message, i'm not sure.
Just remember one thing, you can find me whenever.
I've been sitting here for so long and still waiting.
If one day your heart was asking you to find me, then find me with bless and joy.
Don't hurt and open the scars that you had left.
I'll be somewhere in this world longing for you.

2 comments:

Azwan Shah said...

senyum2 la rina haha :) mcm sy ne....

Rina said...

thanks loy ;)