Wednesday, September 8, 2010

After a month

September 10 2010
Ohh dear, it's been a month . .
Since i broke up and i had my heart broken >.<
I took about 3 weeks and plussss plusss
to heal myself and stop crying at night
it's been a month but i still cry at night, sometimes
when i really miss him and has no idea about what happened
whenever i stay up late, a quite night, and it's just memories in my mind
how hurtful and sweet..
and to be honest i still have the same wallpaper in my phone
i haven't change it.. and please don't ask..

I feel better to see and hug him
and it feels like i want to meet him everyday
but i can't be like that..need to control myself
he's no longer my boyfriend,can't ask him do whatever
can't be too greedy..need to wake up!

Sometimes, i think..after i broke up
i understand him much better
i care and can give him much time for himself
and i wondered..
why didn't i do it before? why i'm pushing to hard?
ohh..there's a reason i did that before
i knew myself better than everybody
before and after broke up is very different..
i can't compare perfectly..

I've been riding solo..
i'm a super single lady
so what's so bad about that?
let me enjoy myself as others did..
But don't ask me about love anymore..
I've lost my love way..
And hell yeah, i still have someone special in my heart
that would be the one and only man..the ex boyfriend

Living the single life 'again
without someone i need to think of, about
what i'm doing, where i go, when i'm going out and home
totally whatever..
>this is what mr ex boyfriend wants,actually
and indirectly, i get it too..
going to spend my youth time perfectly with my crack heart

And i know mr ex boyfriend always worry on my health
I've been so careless and clumsy about my health lately
I have become thinner, can see it clearly thru my face
hohh..when ppl say i'm getting thin..
i wish it's my body and honestly, my stomach!!! not my cheek..
However, that's not the big deal, being ugly is okay..
Mr ex boyfriend, my health getting okay now..
and i'm a person who always get sick so, sick is normal >.<
i guess i dont have much antibiotic =.=''

I've spend some times with friends and 'family
while i'm having the hard time
Thanks to my mommy and my liltle sister
for being so understanding, let me be alone to think of myself
and cried all night's helps to reduce my pressure
and my friends,certain friends that had to listen to my negotiation
who always there to help and acc me
and not to forget,the causes to my ex boyfriend
nahh..i didn't angry at him..i was just dissapointed
and he's still here with me..
to comfort me and do whatever he can to makes me happy 'again
thanks to all..

Feels like my life had change..
yeah seriously..
i talk less, and i saw ppl around me as childish
i'm more to myself,sometimes..
and most of the time, i thinking 'so what's next? '
the heart break makes me even mature and 'old =.=''
oh well, dont worry ppl..
i'm still that happy girl who always smile and laugh around :)
That girl almost comeback..just wait little more..
but her heart already crack..but she can hide that properly :) :)

Life needs to change..
good or bad it's my life
the buddha says; our life is the creation of our mind
and i believe that..cause i've made a review on it..
i saw and live my life for 18 years..
too young huh? but i've been through so many things
ppl wouldn't know what i've been through..
i'll keep it secret, because there's too much to say..
I ain't strong enough..but life is never easy..

A moment to remember
That's the best words to express everything..
I wish you all the best and me as well . .

Lets live this life while can . . . .
Appreciates every moment given..

Why do i say this?
because when i'm with him..
i found out that even the little things also priceless
simplest things can be so meaningful
and you would remember them for whole life..

to hearts with love . .

Lets pray.

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