Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Forgive My Feeling

March 17 2010 - August 10 2010
We've been together for only
4 months and 10 days
another seven days to go,for the fifth months.

Finally the day is coming.
Now my life is different.
There will be no more you.

No more waiting for your text
No more waiting you back home
No more waiting you call me at night
No more webcam or video call when we miss each other
No more going your house or going my house
No need to wait every monday to spend time with you
There is no more you in my life.
Now i really had to forget my love to you.
I should stop loving now.
It was so hard for me,really hard.

A little piece of my heart
is still loving you, still waiting for you..
I kept wondered how you doing there
Do you feel the same?

I won't forget you and You don't forget me too.
You'll be my memory and I'll be your memory.

I heard you said. you love me
At least you still make me a little happy
at the last conversation.

AND i won't forgot these..
March 17 2010 . . May 17 2010 . . August 10 2010

I've cried all out
I've cried so hard to day
I never see myself like this.
I'll be fine later.
I promise i will take good care of myself.
You take good care of yourself too.

For the last time,
Good Bye Boyfriend.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Anxiety And Awareness

It's floating
I wish i never know the ending
But God let me know
God ask me to prepare myself,ask me to get ready
God ask me to be strong,ask me to sit for his test
However,sometimes i felt so weak,I couldn't bear all this
I'm really tired,finally i'm tired.
BUT for the sake of God
I must be strong, i won't see myself
crying and frust for nothing
People say i'm still young, i don't think so
I can't say my life is young anymore
God may take my life Anytime!
So how can i say i'm young?
'WE' can die anytime from now..anytime!!
Whatever happen to my life now..
All i can do is just move on..go through everything

If it's written to happen,no matter how hard i try to prevent
At last it will still happen. Isn't it?

God had wrote my life journey.
I'll stick to it.
Whatever happen, I believe,
God always know what's best for me.
God wouldn't test me for something i can't hold.
God teach me to be strong!!!!

There's only 1 God.
Whatever is our religion,we stick to the same God.
Everything is just the same. When we back to the 'roots. We came from the same thing
Why do we have to argue to each other and complaint another?
Why people are so stupid? Why can't they think wisely?
Why do people like to compare instead of respect?
People is just too stupid! Too Selfish!!
People had forgot Mercy and Reward.
Too Pathetic!

'Our life almost come to its End.
The Judgement day is soon to come.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I still stand on my feet

First, i want to say sorry to boyfriend
i know this supposed to be our privacy
but there is no other way i can tell..
because whenever we talk about this
it's always end with argue..
and i'm no longer want to argue
i'm so tired of argue!

About what you text me this morning,
i'm okay with it..
i confessed that i'm sad to get that text but is okay..
i know our status! very much!
i remember what happened in the past
i know what happen now
and as i told you before,
until now,this moment i typing this post
i was still preparing myself for the day

Boyfriend dear,
i know how much you love me
and you know how much i love you
it's different!!
the feeling we gave to each other is not same..
we both also knew that..

I know what's your feeling to me
You know what's my feeling to you

Thanks for always remind me of our status.
Even if you dont remind me i also remember.
You dont need to scare, i know it well.
Even if i'm going to hurt in the end..>i know i will..
Just dont care about that..
Cause once the day come
i know you wont care anymore

AND now,
please do what i ask you to do
please give me...
if it possible..please give me
what i want is just easy..
i know that you know what i want
there's a lot..however the most important i can say is
i want you to..
i've told you before..
please be honest to me!!
even you just love a little..but please..please..
don't lie to me..
You can hurt me with the truth.but please dont hurt me with lie.

I know what woud happen to the relationship later...
Yes! i might be stupid idiot because was still here..
being loyal and keep loving you..
Dont ask me why i still here!!
You know why i still here.. you can know it yourself..

Eventhough you only have a little love for me
But i still have a lot for you
Again, dont ask me why is it like that!!
You know it well..

Boyfriend dear,
i always awake!!
i always know about our relationship
i admit that i didnt listen to you
i was never stop loving
i always pray that i could handle myself when the day come
believe me! hurt is for sure! but i cant change fate!
if the hardest part is coming what more can i do?
all can i do is just accept..

you are not my first love..
however, you are the one that i really really love
the love i gave you is much much more than before
the feeling is different than before..
is no longer 'puppy love'
this one is real one..
i just can say myself,was unlucky.

Boyfriend dear,
dont ignore me again!
please gave me much happiness
please appreciate the love and care i gave to you
do whatever for our relationship now
save it before the day really come
please give me love that i want from you which includes everything..

I know you dont want me act childish
SO, you dont act childish too..

I'm maybe not mature enough as you wanted
but i've mature now!!
mature is not only attitude but is the way we think too
i think like an adult!!

YOU..I can see it!!
There's a time when you act or think so not mature
but i won't blame you..
because i respect you..very much..
because you're also not mature enough
you also admit that before!
so please dont blame me too!
just give me a comment nicely :)

There's a lot to say
However, i'll just end here
i scare due to this post..we argue again
i really hate argue!! so much!!

you'll hurt me later..
so now dont hurt me anymore..
give me what i want..and makes me happy :)

AND do remember!!
i always understand you :)
i always care for you
i always love you
i always miss you
i always loyal to you
i always honest to you

even i know you dont love that much
but i never think to betray you
you should have no doubt on me
so please never betray me too!!

>> if you saw this post please dont get anger on me.

Thanks for loving me and take care of me until now.

deep inside my heart
i was praying that you will never leave me
i wish the day never come
i pray you would love me as much as i love you
and maybe much more than that

Monday, August 2, 2010

Hello August :)

It's 8th month of the year..
ohh it feels like
just yesterday i finish my secondary school

while typing this..
**i got heart attack
when my mom suddenly call
saying got thief at the back of our house
[the neighbours call her,but mommy not at home]
so unlucky me..i was alone at home ;'(
actually actually . . .
the thief is at outside my aunt house!! =.=''
going to steal my cousin's bicycle but failed!!
serve your right!!! fuck off!!!

do you know how it feels???
i almost dying!!! due to scare ;'(
and mommy keep calling me..
ohh i wish she's with me that time..
isn't it fuck????
grrrr...i was shaking!!!!
i'm so scare T__T
stupid thief go die kena langgar lori 10tan lah you!!
haiz..ruin my mood only ==


today is Aug 2nd :)
i went to place ^^ hehe
yeah baby!! i admit i'm boring
while bongo play games and watch movie..
oh well..i enjoy watch that movie
'Fireball' punch here kick there
to get only a ball =.=''
however, i dnt knw wht's the ending
hahaxx..my backside was pain sitting to long
and i go take a little rest until fall asleep =.=!!!
Yet, i had greaaattt time today :) :)
being boring is okayy :)
as long can spend time with
someone i really miss and love ^_^
mwahx..mwahx.. :)

~ i want go vacation again ohh XD

nahh..photo taken today ^^

>>actually i got thing want give him..but no chance ==
i guess no need give la..bongo also seems dont want :'(

today's story done..
bongo also M.I.A now
where is he now?? cleaning his room??
maybe go yamcha.. =.='' duhh!!